Far From Perfect: The Good Girl's Battle Against Temptation and Failure

"Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is...We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it: and Christ, because He was the only man who never yielded to temptation, is also the only man who knows to the full what temptation means—the only complete realist.” (C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity)

The Path of Temptation
From a very young age I was a student in the art of sinning and a master of deceit in covering my tracks. My first real memory of committing a sin was shoplifting at age three. I remember standing in front of the check out counter when I spotted the Archie's Comic Book. The brightly colored front page was too much temptation for a three-year-old toddler and so without giving it another thought, my pudgy little hands reached for the book and hurriedly stuffed it inside my coat. You can imagine the look of horror on my dad's face when he brought me home from shopping that day only to discover his angelic little blonde haired, blue eyed daughter was a thief!

Confessions of an ex-convict

Did you know I spent time in prison? No, this time I wasn't visiting Port Arthur but...I was in place that was just as dark and miserable. Instead of viewing crumbing remains of an ancient convict settlement, I was behind bars locked away in my own prison cell. Late into the night I would toss and turn in the misery of a guilty conscience. If only I had not commit the crime I wouldn't be in this horrid place. Would I ever be free again?

Then there was a day I will never forget...

"Laurie", a voice whispered to me from beyond my barred window. Startle, I cautiously approached the window. "What do you want?" My eyes strained to recognize the silhouetted figure in the moonlit night. He came closer but remained hidden in the shadows. "Laurie, the One I work for sent me to arrange for your release." 

"Here is the key to your cell...you are free to go."

I was free to go? Staring at the key I wondered if I really had the courage to use it. How strange it would've been for me to stay in such a place. I was free to go. Nothing could stop me...except myself. I didn't walk out of my prison cell that night nor did I find freedom until many years later. 

Now that you are entirely shocked that I am an ex-convict, I will explain my real predicament. My prison was one of spiritual bondage. Hidden sin had thrown me into solitary confinement while guilt held me in chains. Jesus handed me the key but pride kept me from escaping. In Psalm 139 David prayed, 

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. 

Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life." 

The third aspect of prayer we are looking at today is confession. I used to be afraid to ask God to search me because of the guilt buried deep within my heart. Sin has a nasty way of creeping in to the unsuspecting heart, draining your zeal for God and keeping you in a self-made prison. Sin's greatest strength lies in secrecy. Is there sin in your life that no one is aware of? Are there things you are keeping from your parents? I use to think that if I confessed to God enough He would get off my back and that I would "feel" better but it never worked. I was still in that prison cell and I knew the only way out was to use that key.

"People who cover over their sins will not prosper. But if they confess and forsake them, they will receive mercy." (Proverbs 28:13) Don't waste another day imprisoned to sin. Grab one your parents and tell them everything. I remember the first time I found courage to talk with my mom about my struggles...I did NOT tell her everything. Afterwards I felt even more miserable because I only told her enough to "make myself feel better". I had to go back a second time and this time I did tell her everything. As you go to prayer today remember the words of Jesus, "You will know the truth and the truth will set you free." Don't remain in that prison cell but use the key of confession to walk through that door of freedom!

I know this is a tough thing to tackle so if you want to talk please feel free to send me an email: laurie@apassionforjesus.com 

A "Green Chair Chat" with God

In my little blue room I have this ugly green chair. Although it has seen better days I'm quite fond of the little chair. It has witness many counseling sessions and has been a welcoming spot for all my friends who come to visit. But when I'm alone, the little green chair is my place of prayer. This chair has been wet with tears time and time again as I've visited the throne room of Heaven.

As I knelt by my green chair one morning my mind drifted from prayer onto the cares of the day. Finally I snapped back to earth with the realization that I was suppose to be talking with God. I bowed my head once more, letting my mouth lead the way while my heart trailed way behind. But as I prayed, the nagging thoughts echoed words of condemnation...