All I Want for Christmas: Filling the Void of Loneliness

"It's that time of year, when the world falls in love; Every song you hear seems to say, Merry Christmas! May your New Year dreams come true." (The Christmas Waltz) 

Christmas is in the air. You can hear the holiday classics blaring in every department store. The month of December is full of Christmas parties, church cantatas, neighborhood caroling and exchange gifts with those you love. 

It certainly seems like the "time of year when the world falls in love" and everyone appears to be...happier. But the glaring truth for those who deal with loneliness is, it seems to be that time of year when the world has a significant other except you. 

Is Social Media Destroying our Social Skills?

The realm of social media and electronic interaction is the new norm in the world of communication. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Google + and texting are the preferred forms of interaction for Milliennials. 

In a research study by Lookout, researchers found that nearly 60% said they don't go an hour without checking their phone. Younger folks were the most addicted: 63% of women and 73% of men ages 18-34 say they don't go an hour without checking their phones. 

“Americans no longer talk to each other, they entertain each other. They do not exchange ideas, they exchange images. They do not argue with propositions; they argue with good looks, celebrities and commercials.”  (Neil Postman, Amusing Ourselves to Death: Public Discourse in the Age of Show Business)

A Christian Perspective on #BlackFriday Shopping

“...I could not help but think that somewhere along the way we had missed what was radical about our faith and replaced it with what is comfortable.” (David Platt, Radical)

Black Friday. The day Americans find the best deals at the lowest prices. It's the time of year everyone camps out in front of Best Buy and eagerly stampedes Wal-Mart's doors at midnight. I know for me personally I enjoy making my Christmas shopping list and taking part in the holiday savings. Year after year I've done this without a thought about how I should treat Black Friday as a Christian...until last week. Nagging at the door of my heart there is this notion that something is missing in our treatment of consumerism in America.

Here are some radical questions for you to ponder: Does mainstream Christianity treat Black Friday from a cultural perspective or a Biblical perspective? Is the American dream for more dictating our "needs vs. wants"? How should the Christian treat Black Friday shopping?

Is There Anything WRONG with Black Friday?
I've brought up these questions for discussion and I've discovered something; most people become very defensive! I never said that I believe Black Friday shopping is wrong nor have I said that spending money, buying gifts and having fun staying up all night in front of your favorite store is a sin. In fact, if you are shopping in the Tampa area on Friday you may run into me!

But keep this in mind, when Jesus called others to follow Him it was radical, it was different and it required giving up everything. "'If you want to be perfect, go and sell all you have and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.' But when the young man heard this, he went sadly away because he had many possessions." (Matthew 19:21-22)

“It is a constant battle to resist the temptation to have more luxuries, to acquire more stuff, and to live more comfortably.” (David Platt, Radical)


We don't need the latest iPhone, the biggest flatscreen TV, the newest car on the market or the biggest house on the block. What we need is a radically changed life that draws others to know our Jesus. The radicalness of the God we serve requires us to live a life through the perspective lens of eternity. With this in mind I want you to ponder these "what if" questions.

In Comparison to Black Friday, What if...

1. We had the same urgency for a lost soul as we do a "good deal"?
2. We had the same investment of time, energy and money in changing this world for eternity?
3. We had the same attitude to give to church as we spend at the stores on Friday? 
4. We had the same excitement for discipling others as we do shopping with our friends?
5. We had the perspective that our bank account was actually God's personal account?

We are called to be set apart for the Kingdom and to have Christ's mindset as our guide: "And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice -- the kind he will accept. When you think of what he has done for you, is this too much to ask? Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is." (Romans 12:1-2)

You see, we shouldn't be questioning what is wrong with Black Friday but rather testing our priorities and perspectives on why we do what we do and whether it is making a lasting difference. If Christ were to come back the Saturday after Thanksgiving, how would this change our perspective on Friday? 

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this! Please comment below or you are welcome to contact me directly. You can either email me or leave me a voicemail or text my google number: 646-504-626

The Directionally Challenged Life: Answering the Question "Why In The World Am I Here?"

“The really wonderful moments of joy in this world are not the moments of self-satisfaction, but self-forgetfulness. Standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon and contemplating your own greatness is pathological. At such moments we are made for a magnificent joy that comes from outside ourselves.” (John Piper, Don't Waste Your Life)

I'm not going to lie. I like being being needed. There is a great satisfaction in feeling important and significant in this life. I love people and I want people to love me back. I like the popular feeling when I walk into a room and people crowd around me. Then there is the natural craving to having a man attracted to me and pursuing my heart. Ironically thought, I've come to realize that those things do not satisfy nor have I discovered my purpose in life fulfilled in the empty pursuit of "self".

What do you do when life doesn't make sense? Where is God in these moments and what is He trying to tell us? As we come to the end of our series on The Lord's Prayer I want you to ponder this statement, LIFE ISN'T ABOUT YOU.  

Embracing Evil in our Entertainment: Harmless or Harmful?

"The major strategy of Satan is to distort the character of God and the truth of who we are." (Neil T. Anderson)

Over the last six years I have sat across from countless girls who were bound up in the chains of spiritual bondage, miserable victims of the evil this world had to offer them. I have seen the ugliness of evil rear its determined head during counseling sessions and demonic forces furiously rise up against my efforts to help girls find freedom.

This post isn't meant to glorify Satan in any way.  My intentions are to show you how we play on the enemy's playground and expect it to be harmless. We saturate our minds with his agenda and assume our minds will be immune to the reality of his influence. The Lord's prayer contains a very crucial element to our survival here on earth, "deliver us from evil". A question I have been pondering this week is this: Can God fully answer this prayer if we are willingly opening the doors to evil in our movies, books, magazines and music? Why or why not?

Far From Perfect: The Good Girl's Battle Against Temptation and Failure

"Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is...We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it: and Christ, because He was the only man who never yielded to temptation, is also the only man who knows to the full what temptation means—the only complete realist.” (C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity)

The Path of Temptation
From a very young age I was a student in the art of sinning and a master of deceit in covering my tracks. My first real memory of committing a sin was shoplifting at age three. I remember standing in front of the check out counter when I spotted the Archie's Comic Book. The brightly colored front page was too much temptation for a three-year-old toddler and so without giving it another thought, my pudgy little hands reached for the book and hurriedly stuffed it inside my coat. You can imagine the look of horror on my dad's face when he brought me home from shopping that day only to discover his angelic little blonde haired, blue eyed daughter was a thief!

The Good Girl's Masquerade: Emotional Dishonesty in a World Full of Pain

"The only antidote to the poisonous lie of performance is forgiveness. We have to receive forgiveness in order to live free because we cannot give what we have not first received. Our masks complicate this process because we know it isn't good to hold on to unforgiveness. So we hide behind our mask of indifference or we get busy in our performance to hide the hurt, the anger, and the pain that has been inflicted upon us. It is a toxic, exhausting way to live. It is not the way of Jesus." (Emily P. Freeman)

The Mask of Perfectionism
In my last post I tackled the subject of God's forgiveness through the eyes of the "good girl". "She want's to please God but deep inside she feels like an absolute failure. The more she tries to hide behind the mask of perfectionism the greater her heart condemns herself." The good girl struggles with an inaccurate view of God which makes it difficult for her to receive God's love and forgiveness.

Confessions of a "Good Girl"

The good girl goes to church every time the doors are open. She doesn't let on when she is having a bad day because others may think she has backslidden. Instead she defaults to her Christian tag lines such as, "God is teaching me so much" or "I'm learning to be thankful in all things". The good girl doesn't share her struggles with family and friends because she feels the pressure of living up to the reputation of the "good girl". She want's to please God but deep inside she feels like an absolute failure. The more she tries to hide behind the mask of perfectionism the greater her heart condemns herself.

This description of the good girl is a picture of my own past but I believe many girls who have grown up in solid Christian homes can also identify with the "good girl" mentality. Even to this day, I struggle with feeling the need to search my own heart and habitually confess to God every time I go to prayer. Ironically, the very thing I hope will draw me closer to God causes me to feel more distant from His presence.

In my series of blog posts on The Lord's prayer, we've covered the topics of God being our Father, God's Holiness, having a Kingdom mindset, praying the will of God and understanding our needs versus wants. Half way through this prayer Jesus brings up the subject of repentance: "Forgive us our debts". I want to tackle the subject of confession through the eyes of the good girl and through my own struggles with understanding the grace of God.

Materialism in The Church: Do We Really Pray for Needs or Wants?

The American church {side note: if you are saved you are part of the body of Christ, therefore when I refer to the "church" I am referring to you and me} is materialistically and spiritually obese. 

We pray earnestly for what we think we need but our lifestyle is one of careless spending and impulsive purchases. Could it be that we have lost the understanding of the drastic difference between a genuine need and a frivolous want? 

I've been guilty of praying for God's provision while simultaneously sipping on my Starbucks latte. How hypocritically is that!

Three Requirements to Praying the Will of God

How do I know the will of God? Is my faith lacking? Am I praying for the wrong thing? How do I know if I'm praying God's desires and not my own? These questions have haunted me recently as I've wrestled over an "unspoken" prayer request. But God promises in His Word that "...He will listen to us whenever we ask him for anything in line with his will. And if we know He is listening when we make our requests, we can be sure that he will give us what we ask for." (1 John 5:14-15, NLT)

The Lord's prayer signifies the need to pray according to the will of God. "Thy will be done in earth, as it is in Heaven." The great mystery surrounding prayer is the bewildering fact that God not only hears my prayers but desires to answers them. But how do we discover God's will so we can pray according to that will? Through the stubbornness of my own will I am slow in discovering the answers to this question. I'd like to share with you three requirements that God has revealed to my own heart in attempts to spare you the unnecessary journey of a fruitless, self-centered prayer life.

The Great Significance of Praying "Thy Kingdom Come"

Defining the Kingdom

Thy kingdom come. What does that mean for you and I? These words hold so much depth and meaning that I've struggled even to begin writing this post. How do you explain the gravity of Jesus' words when he taught His disciples to pray, "thy kingdom come"? Not a kingdom that is built with bricks or by force (John 18:36) but by the supernatural reviving power of salvation in the lives of those who believe (John 3:3) and the daily sanctification of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:16-26).

I did a Greek study on the word "kingdom" and discovered that there are a few very important reasons why Jesus listed this as the third aspect of prayer in the Lord's prayer found in Matthew 6. We could do a whole series on the kingdom of God but for time sake I'm only going to briefly talk about two main points that stood out to me. I would encourage each of you to do your own study.

The Kingdom of God Gives Life

The Lord's prayer has revealed a lack of understanding and how little I know of prayer. To start my prayers with God's identity, God's holiness and God's kingdom agenda is a far cry from how I typically pray. Normally I begin with my problems, my struggles and my agenda.

Taking God's Name in Vain

"Hollowed Be Thy Name"
There is value in a name. Some names we hold in high regards while others have been tarnished by a bad reputation. When we think of George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan or Barak Obama we remember these men for what they've done with their lives. The name Adolf Hitler conjures up a negative image of a horrific time in world history while the achievements of George Washington are remembered fondly. These are mere men but when it comes to God, what is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear His name? Do you value His position and who He is?

In this post we are continuing our series on the Lord's prayer. Jesus began the prayer with, "Our Father, who art in Heaven" and then continues, Hallowed be Thy Name. Unlike our typical prayer life today, the Lord's prayer didn't start with petitions or a prayer list. This prayer was meant to awaken our souls to the reality of God's character. I mean, Who in the world are we actually talking to when we bow our heads and close our eyes? Is it the God we imagine Him to be or the God He really is?

Keep Calm and Carry On: Five Secrets to Overcoming Depression

Coffee mugs, t-shirts and other decorative items have advertised this popular meme for a number of years. This phrasal fad extends to a wide variety of spin offs "Keep Calm and you-fill-in-the-blank". Originally produced by the British government in 1939, this slogan was intended to boost the spirit of the British people on the brink of the Second World War.

Why has it become so popular in today's culture? Is it just a clever quote with numerous spin offs or is this meme pointing to a deeper need in our messed up world? Last December I was going through a stressful time trying to juggle the normal holiday busyness while also preparing for our trip to Australia. I was busy, stressed, worried and sleep deprived.

A week before we left for Australia I received a Keep Calm mug as a gift. Late nights at my desk, my gaze would drift to the writing on that cup. "Keep Calm and Carry On!" but to tell you the truth, I was too exhausted to "carry on". 

Our culture has adopted a positive thinking attitude with the mindset that we are invincible. But research from the Anxiety and Depression Association of American shows otherwise: Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older (18% of U.S. population).

Whether you and I admittedly label it a bad day or a difficult season of life, the fact of the matter is that we all struggle with depression at some point or another.

The Father Factor

In the U.S. 15 million children in America (one out of three) live without their father. In an article published by The Washington Times Luke Rosiak explains, "The near-total absence of male role models has ripped a hole the size of half the population in urban areas."

After talking with hundreds of girls from all over the United States and internationally, I am convinced more than ever that young people lack a father's positive influence in their lives. Even the best of dads become busy and don't always spend sufficient time with their children. Many young people believe their dad loves them but doesn't understand them.  Once a girl shared with me, "I have a Christian dad who takes care of my needs but he has never asks me how I'm doing spiritually".

10 Things Jesus Taught His Disciples About Prayer

Prayer. Christian bookstores are filled with books on how to pray. Inspirational stories stirs our soul in response to the beckoning call to prayer from the great prayer warriors of times past. These men and women of faith seem to possess something that is lost on today's society. Curiously enough we (including myself) have displayed with our actions that prayer is not needed and we are invincible.

In our last post I shared a statistic that the average Christian only prays about seven minutes a day. Do you realize that is only 0.49% of your entire day? Can we really follow Christ without spending time with Him? Of course not! That would be as absurd as driving a car off of a teaspoon of gas.

Is Social Media Taking Over Our Lives?

Prayer is an interesting subject because whether or not we like to admit it, praying does not come naturally for most of us including myself. Last week during the APJ summer camp one girl made a statement during our lunch break, "I'm always looking to the next event or the next Christian camp to give me a spiritual high". Her comment caused me to think about the fact that prayer really is a lost art in our generation.

Let's explore some of the reasons why this is happening:

Six Ways to Fight Discouragement

You give and pour into the lives of others. Epic victory. The trip ends. Your body crashes. Emotionally you feel zapped. Weeks later you are still processing all the amazing things God has done and yet deep inside you feel numb. 

You feel alone even when surrounded by people. Discouragement grips your heart and life seems burdensome.

Our weakest moments rarely come in the midst of our greatest battle but in the aftermath of the victory. 

When God Calls: The Step of "Yes"

“Whenever, wherever, however You want me, I'll go. And I'll begin this very minute. Lord, as I stand up from this place, and as I take my first step forward, will You consider this is a step toward complete obedience to You? I'll call it the step of yes.” -Brother Andrew (God's Smuggler)

The soft voice of an British accent quietly droned on as I packed my bags for Russia. Brother Andrew's story had always intrigued me but now with clothes and accessories scattered all over the floor, I listened to the audiobook with a different perspective.

Embracing Change

Changes of life. Some people thrive on it but others loathe it. I for one find change a rather difficult thing. I cried about growing up because I loved being little. (I remember being scared of wearing makeup because I was afraid I'd apply it wrong.) 

I hated to share my friends because I was afraid of loosing them. I was mad when my mom started dying her hair because I had a fear it would turn purple. I cried when my brother left home for medical school. I cried when my older sister got married. I even felt sad when they closed down a local store I'd shopped at all my life.

Life is full of changes. I'm sure after reading through my list of woes you must find my ramblings rather amusing. 

Dangers of Living Life in the Fast Lane

It is a well known fact to those who frequently use the Tampa International Airport that there are millions of ways to come and go from the airport. Even though it may seem that "all roads lead to Rome" or in this case the airport; all roads do NOT lead to home. One careless mistake can send a person clear across the Howard Franklin Bridge...

...a 10 mile (16 km) mistake!
 After twelve years of driving and hundreds of trips to the airport I recently made this mistake for the first time. Following a hectic briefing on child care for their four children, the parents waved us goodbye at the airport drop-off. As we left the airport my head began to whirl as I tried to recall the scheduled ballet lessons, sports practices, music lessons and school work. Priding myself on my multitasking skills I really thought I could find their house...WITHOUT the GPS. After all the house was only about ten minutes from the airport!