Is Social Media Destroying our Social Skills?

The realm of social media and electronic interaction is the new norm in the world of communication. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Google + and texting are the preferred forms of interaction for Milliennials. 

In a research study by Lookout, researchers found that nearly 60% said they don't go an hour without checking their phone. Younger folks were the most addicted: 63% of women and 73% of men ages 18-34 say they don't go an hour without checking their phones. 

“Americans no longer talk to each other, they entertain each other. They do not exchange ideas, they exchange images. They do not argue with propositions; they argue with good looks, celebrities and commercials.”  (Neil Postman, Amusing Ourselves to Death: Public Discourse in the Age of Show Business)

I've been wrestling with writing a post like this because I'm one of those stats listed above. I like having my phone nearby. The delightful sound of my phone pinging or vibrating is like my social addict "shot in the arm". In a world where social media interaction is the new norm could it be that is it infringing on our ability to build real life relationships and redeem the time?

Two Valuable Gifts God Has Given Us

Admittedly I find the value of social media has its pros and cons. There is a wise way to use it for good if you learn to set boundaries in your life. In this post though, I'd like to address two ways that social media is stealing from precious gifts that God has given us.

1. THE GIFT OF RELATIONSHIPS

All of us have family and friends. Many of these relationships we interact with on a daily basis. One of the pitfalls of social media is that it conditions you to be satisfied with shallow interaction.  

In an article put out by the Leadership Journal, Tim Challies writes, "Our devices and all the distractions they offer can, at a moment, transport our minds elsewhere. We go from being deep in conversation with a friend to being completely distracted by a beep, a buzz, a new text message, a little snippet of information. We can sit beside the people we love, each lost in our own little digital universe."

When I consider what God might say about social media infringing on real time interactions, the words of 1 Corinthians 13:4 come to mind: "Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude." 

Because social media has become so addictive and self gratifying, could it be that our love has grow cold and our hearts have become insensitive to the people around us? We could be blind to how rude our behavior has become as our phones take priority over interpersonal communication. These phones stay close beside us during parties and we whip it out the moment our virtual world beckons us. But 1 Corinthians 13 describes true love as kind and not rude. It's called being considerate and thinking more highly of others than yourself. 

2. THE GIFT OF TIME

"If 'digital busyness is the enemy of depth,' then we are bound to be stuck in the shallows so long as we're never alone. Our digital age gives new relevance to Pascal's famous line: 'I have often said that the sole cause of man's unhappiness is that he does not know how to stay quietly in his room.' Or stay out of the room, as the case may be." (Kevin Deyong, Crazy Busy)   

One marketing research shows that the average American spends more than three hours a day on social media which averages out to twenty-one hours per week! Social media is stealing almost a full day of our week. Our life is a gift from God and He commands us to use our time wisely, "So be careful how you live, not as fools but as those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity for doing good in these evil days." (Ephesians 5:15, 16)

I write with the full knowledge that I am guilty of the very things I'm sharing with you, but its time for me (and you) to take back these valuable gifts and become a good steward of what God has entrusted to us. Are you willing to take the challenge?

Month Challenge for Media Use:

"Our devices, our new technologies, are a great gift and a means through which we can carry out our God-given mission. But if we don't take control of them, they will control us." (Tim Challies, Leadership Journal)

• Don't bring your phone to the dinner table
• Don't use your phone during a personal conversation 
• Don't carry your phone in your pocket during family time or social events
• Don't always have it "nearby" during a party or other social events
• Don't go to bed using it/Set boundaries for being "media free" at night
• Don't use it before your time alone with God
• Turn off social media notifications on your phone

If the thought of doing all of the suggestions listed above overwhelms you, then pick at least one thing you are going to commit to work on during this month. The biggest thing God has been convicting me of is that I lack self-discipline. Don't resist the Holy Spirit's promptings to change your current way of life. When the Spirit of God is in control, there is self-control. Remember, our relationships and time are God-given gifts. Don't waste them!