The Good Girl's Masquerade: Emotional Dishonesty in a World Full of Pain

"The only antidote to the poisonous lie of performance is forgiveness. We have to receive forgiveness in order to live free because we cannot give what we have not first received. Our masks complicate this process because we know it isn't good to hold on to unforgiveness. So we hide behind our mask of indifference or we get busy in our performance to hide the hurt, the anger, and the pain that has been inflicted upon us. It is a toxic, exhausting way to live. It is not the way of Jesus." (Emily P. Freeman)

The Mask of Perfectionism
In my last post I tackled the subject of God's forgiveness through the eyes of the "good girl". "She want's to please God but deep inside she feels like an absolute failure. The more she tries to hide behind the mask of perfectionism the greater her heart condemns herself." The good girl struggles with an inaccurate view of God which makes it difficult for her to receive God's love and forgiveness.

Confessions of a "Good Girl"

The good girl goes to church every time the doors are open. She doesn't let on when she is having a bad day because others may think she has backslidden. Instead she defaults to her Christian tag lines such as, "God is teaching me so much" or "I'm learning to be thankful in all things". The good girl doesn't share her struggles with family and friends because she feels the pressure of living up to the reputation of the "good girl". She want's to please God but deep inside she feels like an absolute failure. The more she tries to hide behind the mask of perfectionism the greater her heart condemns herself.

This description of the good girl is a picture of my own past but I believe many girls who have grown up in solid Christian homes can also identify with the "good girl" mentality. Even to this day, I struggle with feeling the need to search my own heart and habitually confess to God every time I go to prayer. Ironically, the very thing I hope will draw me closer to God causes me to feel more distant from His presence.

In my series of blog posts on The Lord's prayer, we've covered the topics of God being our Father, God's Holiness, having a Kingdom mindset, praying the will of God and understanding our needs versus wants. Half way through this prayer Jesus brings up the subject of repentance: "Forgive us our debts". I want to tackle the subject of confession through the eyes of the good girl and through my own struggles with understanding the grace of God.

Materialism in The Church: Do We Really Pray for Needs or Wants?

The American church {side note: if you are saved you are part of the body of Christ, therefore when I refer to the "church" I am referring to you and me} is materialistically and spiritually obese. 

We pray earnestly for what we think we need but our lifestyle is one of careless spending and impulsive purchases. Could it be that we have lost the understanding of the drastic difference between a genuine need and a frivolous want? 

I've been guilty of praying for God's provision while simultaneously sipping on my Starbucks latte. How hypocritically is that!