When Your World Falls Apart

Praying for your family...

Praying for others can be a very exciting and passionate experience. When we pray for persecuted Christians, the President, a nation’s government, drug dealers and murderers, Hollywood, or revival in your city, we often feel like we are tackling head-on what really matters, chinking away at the big problems in our world, prayer by prayer.

But how often do we pray for those people in our lives that we see every day? The people who we live with day in and day out, who know our ugliest flaws as we know theirs, and who are often times the hardest  to love, and the hardest to forgive? How frequently to do we spend long, sacrificial hours, or even a dedicated number of MINUTES every single day praying for our family?

The Summer of 2009 was the hardest year of my life. It was also the Summer that God taught me to pray, for the people in my life who were the hardest to love - my family. Specifically, my Mom and Dad. It had been a rough year for all of us, but especially for the two of them. Their marriage had been crumbling for quite some time, but when the decay finally seeped down to the foundation, everything came crashing down at once in a choking, dust-filled disaster that clouded our sight and left me and my nine siblings feeling confused, angry, and helpless.

Truths we had been taught our whole lives were challenged. Basic building blocks of our worldview were tested against this whole new seeming reality. Even the memories we thought were ours – the love, tenderness, and warmth shared by a large, close-knit family – were twisted and changed, like bright, colorful photographs replaced by their darkened, harsh negatives.

The world had been stripped out from under my feet. I was fumbling for some foothold, a place to grasp in this new dark place, something that was true, something I could DO in this helplessness that ached almost more than anything else.

As my mind whirled in continual questions and my heart scabbed over in an ugly crust of bitterness, God slowly began to pull me back to what I had already known to be truth, the ONLY “Truth” to be found in this world: His Word. And in that Word, He told me what I needed to do: pray. Pray about my confusion. Pray about the pain. Pray when I could do nothing else. Pray about my family. Pray for my parents.

Ephesians 6 tells us that we are in a spiritual battle, every day. The devil is working hard to pull down the foundations of your faith, and he will try in every way he can to find that weak corner, whether it is in your home, your family, your own heart, or somewhere else. And if our foundation isn’t Christ and Christ alone, Satan will find that corner.

If we don’t recognize this battle and arm ourselves in the power of the Holy Spirit for the fight, we will crumble. And we can’t put on that armor if we don’t pray.

“Be strengthened by the Lord and by His vast strength. Put on the full armor of God so that you can stand against the tactics of the devil… Pray at all times in the Spirit, and stay alert in this, with all perseverance and intercession for all the saints.” (Eph. 6:10-11, 18 HCSB)

My parents were believing lies that caused their foundations to crumble, and I felt betrayed. I may have felt I had a right to get angry at them, and be bitter at their decisions. I didn’t WANT to pray for them; I didn’t even want to love them. And yet part of putting on the armor of God was praying for other Christians, praying for my family.

When I began to pray, God began to whisper His truths in my ear, truths like “I will never leave you or forsake you… When your father and mother forsake you, I will take you up” (Josh. 1:5, Ps. 27:10). I began realizing all that God had sacrificed for ME. And I began seeing how very little I deserved to have a gracious, loving God to pray to.

James 5 tells us, “Is anyone among you suffering? He should pray…. Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The intense prayer of the righteous man is very powerful…. My brothers, if any among you strays from the truth, and someone turns him back, he should know that whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his life from death and cover a multitude of sins.” (vs. 13, 16, 19-20 HCSB)

Then, Timothy: “I urge that petitions, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for everyone, for kings and all those who are in authority, so that we may lead a tranquil and quiet life in all godliness and dignity. This is good and it pleases God our Savior, Who wants everyone to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.” (1 Tim. 2:1-4).

We are called to pray for the hurting, for the broken, for those who are straying from the truth. I began to pray for my family. Even when I didn’t feel like it; even when it didn’t look like it was making any difference. It made all the difference for me.

Prayer peeled away the scab left by bitterness, and changed my heart to LOVE even when it seemed impossible. Prayer opened my eyes to new ways to pray, and new truths to grasp and study in God’s Word. Prayer grounded me in Christ’s love, day in and day out, though at times the road seemed dim and the path rough and endless.

Slowly, my Mom came back to the Truth, and allowed Jesus to once again form her foundation. My siblings had embraced Scripture as I had, and we clung to Truth together. My Dad is still struggling, running between lies and half-truths, shaky on his ground, unsure of where to stand. I encourage him and pray for him, interceding to my Father on his behalf.

There are still daily struggles. Everyone has a bad day, and when you are family, you get to see all of them. But praying grounds you in battle-ready truths, equipping you against the sledge-hammer of the devil, keeping your corners secure.

Whether your family is struggling like mine was, or you are just having a really hard day loving your messy little brother, you are called to PRAY for your family, and the family of Christ. So pray daily! Pray for those who are the most difficult to love; pray whether you feel like it or not.

God promises to work when we pray, and He will start by changing your heart.

This post was written by a childhood friend of mine, Trina Thompson Narankevicius. She has faithful served on the APJ staff since 2008 and inspires others to live for Jesus. She and her husband Mark live in Brooksville, FL. If you would like to contact Trina directly you can email her at: trinascurlz@yahoo.com